Growing up, one of the biggest anxieties was falling pregnant before marriage, then having a must marriage. You are having a child, you must get married. Muss juss get married. In my community it happened a lot, but how come it happened so often? Is it just a matter of perspective, maybe the same amount of young people are falling pregnant in all communities and not just the Muslim communities, or is it such a taboo that parents don't talk to their kids about (most likely)? Or is it a case of not fully understanding sex and how sex works (also likely)?
For cis-gendered women, getting shipped off to the clinic for hormonal contraceptive is supported, and of course it is the normalised manner to deal with "safe-no-child-sex", but it has severe limitations (environmental degradation being a major one). For transgender pregnancies, please see safersex.education. Male contraceptives are still in the works, for decades, even when we thought we were so close in 2001. I have a lot of questions which fundamentally boil down to the indoctrinations of our cultures and the ensuing dependency on industry that was created those hundreds of years ago (so recent). Where did such reliance on contraception come from that its easier to take hormones and insert devices on the general, than it is to talk about sex and how sex works? With all this over-production of food on top of all the different contraceptive defences, we are still so many peoples, I don't think it's really working. Maybe all industry did was create dependencies to the point that our sovereignty and body knowledge got way forgotten. As main man Miles Olson says in his chapter "De-Industrialising Contraception: Birth Control for Sustainability and Survival" in Unlearn, Rewild. "Overpopulation is, of course, a problem of civilisation. It was not an issue for sustainable indigenous cultures. Almost all indigenous cultures had effective, natural birth control practices that allowed them to decide when, or if, they would have children. This knowledge appears to be one of the first things colonisers seek to eradicate when assimilating traditional cultures." This is one of those ultimate superpower knowledges, the kind that threaten those who don't know and don't want anyone else to know.
It must be said that not everyone is able to have children, or wants to have children. How does reproduction happen anyways? Well of course we know that you need sperm cells to reach the ovaries, here I'm speaking specifically humanoid but its the same with frogs, with most plants, insects, octopuses, birds, with sharks, with elephants. This process, of course, does not guarantee conception and if it does, the conception is not guaranteed full term.
Sex is simple but also, sex is complexxx, apart from STI's and STD's, the industries around sex, people politics and the politics of sex. Contraception evolved alongside sexing, which is as old as the whole history of our species, of course. Our dependency on industrial methods of contraception is pretty heavy and its not that long ago that we did it without these dependencies. As I alluded to, it's one of those issues of the notion of civilisation, taking land, killing off peoples, covering it with development, killing off the environment, in this case specifically flora, cuts us off from the skill and ability to communicate and gain knowledge from plants. For the naysayers, I say listen to Wade Davis wax lyrical about that deep knowledge of how Ayahuasca came to be the global enlightenment export, the knowledge of taking two different plants and putting them together to viscerally shake your soul straight out of its grimy hinges.
Sex. Conditions need to be just right for spermatozoids, from temperature to pH, and this is the important bit, males have one passageway through the pen15, same for pee, same for penis juice. If there is ejaculate outside of a fertile uterus and there is no sperm that will meet any of the fertile grounds where fertilisation can occur, there will be no pregnancy today. If ejaculation occurs and sex starts up again, even if there is no more spermination, pregnancy may result, because (to quote Olson):
There are two main reasons that pulling out can fail: the pre-cum, or "Cowper's fluid," that the penis releases during sex, and lacks self-control. It is commonly thought that pre-cum contains viable semen; this is a half truth. The function of pre-cum is to de-acidify the urethra, since urine (acid) has been passing through it. The acidity of the urethra is a problem for semen, they needs a specific pH and will die in an acidic environment. Pre-cum de-acidifies the pH of the urethra and makes it a more hospitable environment for the big load of semen that will be passing through soon. Pre-cum is also called Cowper's fluid because it is stored in the Cowper's gland: it doesn't actually come directly from the testicles. By the time the semen in pre-cum make it into the urethra, they are usually no longer viable because of the time lag. Any that might still be viable are destroyed by their journey in the still acidic urethra - a recipe for dead pre-cum!
The problem arises when, after pulling out and ejaculating, one begins to have sex again.
The man's urethra has been de-acidified now, making it much more likely that the pre-cum this time around will contain viable semen. How can one avoid this? Take a pee after you have ejacualted, re-acidifying your urethra. This way if you have sex again the pre-cum will not be viable. This is extremely important!
You get that? Maybe just read it again to be sure?
For those of you who need the data: in a study concluded the end of 2008, the failure rates of withdrawal (when done properly, like you actually know what your sperm are doing and where they are) are around 4%, condoms, 2% - marginal difference.
The bulbourethral gland, aka Cowper's gland, is #1 sperm support. As are the muscles that support the pen15 and with enough practise and yogic channelling, multiple orgasms are possible as well as orgasm without ejaculation.
Coitus interruptus should also rely on the menstrual cycle, tracking your cycle really helps making living more understandable, knowing the fertility cycles and how it affects the whole self and thus sex at all.
Bottom line, if you're feeling sexy and having sexytimes, contraceptive or not, at some stage you have to accept that sex makes babies, whole new people. Reproduction is kinda the point in the biological mastery that is sex and it takes a lot of energy fearing that. Knowledge up!
A recipe ode to Preconceived Conception
"I knew a girl named Nikki, I guess U could say she was a sex fiend / I met her in a hotel lobby, masturbating with a magazine"
Play on repeat, rrreeeaaally loud, sticking this sign on your door: