Survivor's Guide To Smelling Naai's
Flowers. Flowers all over the lands. All different species of these reproductive organs, standing erect or hanging soft and low. So many colours, textures, tastes, smmmells, shapes, feels. Here in the southwestern Cape we are coming to the end of a thick season of flowers, the bulbs are in bloom with ridiculous colours enticing pollinators in shades and patterns beyond our scope of sight. Eyes that base their sight in ultraviolet light see flowers as beacons dotted along the landscape, some flowers with a bullseye or markings reminiscent of airstrips guiding the insect as aeroplanes are guided to land.
Where fields lay fallow and within the stillness of our arid spaces, hundreds of thousands of daisies pop up as if a sex meteor has hit and sex shrapnel lay in waiting. It's incredible that these are evolutionary adaptations, these flowers, but mostly that they've evolved so particularly for insects (sometimes rodents or birds or even the wind) to get busy in them. It's been this way for millions of years, such ancient sexytimes.
It's season for Rosa and Jasmine. These flowers are friends, they can smell each other's heaviness on a good berg wind kinda day. They live probably 20m from each other in Heather's hood. Their scents are heavy, heady, full, sweet like the first kiss of a marshmallow. They make you wish you were an insect so you could be small, rolling around with your sexicles, this rose as your bed, undressing under the soft rose sheets. Or slipping down the tube of the jasmine, sucking the nectar at the tip, can you imagine? Sex on sex. I used to grow poppy plants from seed, the most minuscule little seed would grow into this gigantic flower that always beckoned me, I would know where the seeds had set and would always find them even when they hid themselves amongst the other plants. They would blossom into the most perfect cups, dark purple, lilac, white, sometimes shades between. Often this would coincide with chafer beetle recreational procreation, I mean it looked fun from where I stood, the beetles abuzz with love, dusted up as they rolled amongst the opiates.
When you come into an abundance of these insect sex beds, you must prioritise, collect what you can and prepare them for transformation soon after collecting, if you're serious and intend to alchemise them then dawn is the best time - before the sun gets the best of them. Apocalypse perfume is not so hard to come by in the Cape but this is next level, this is the smell of love. They work even better to be stored on your skin (a perfume bag, if you will, like nestled beneath your bra just like Marjane's grandmother in Persepolis), the heat of your body puffing turkish delight clouds up out of you. Or wear them under your scarf, your hair will smell defuknlightful.
Place them in a low dish or basket so air does not stagnate around them and dry them evenly, do this somewhere where you spend most of your time so your vibes are delighted. In the Apocalypse you're gonna have time to collect flowers, so great, it's good practice to carry smells with you -we all have to deal with stinky stuff from time to time, the apocalypse is no different. Nostrils are a great place to store petals, just don't sniff them into your nasal canal because that would be most uncomfortable.
These flowers could go into tinctures, bakes, an enfleurage, macerations, smokablez, waters and a bajillion other things. The moments of living with them are fleeting but their seasons are abundant so your time together will linger.
Recipe Ode to Smelling Naai's
Sex on sex in sex?
- 1 cups sweet water
- 1 T flax seed (grown over the mountains in the Overberg, a simple 2 day donkey voyage away)
- 1 cup rose petals
- 1 cup jasmine petals
- 3 cups sweet water
- 1/2 cup agar seaweed (while you're voyaging, head south towards the Agulhas coastline and harvest up some Gelidium, the red hairy bushy looking seaweed, down there you should find it in the tidal zone)
Wash the seaweed to clean it from sand and saltiness and let it dry on the voyage home. Sun drying helps to bleach out the colour, I guess its a psychological thing to have lube that is clear going through the sacred gates of the pudenda.
Once this is done, add the seaweed to the water while it is still cool, let it get to a rolling boil for 10 minutes and switch off, let it cool for five minutes and strain the seaweed out.
Simultaneously: Add the flax seed to the 2 cups water and let it boil for about 20 minutes (reduce by half), ten minutes in add all the petals. Once it's done, strain immediately.
Add the flax mix to the seaweed mix and let cool completely. Bravo, edible lube that tastes and smells good.